Friday, April 27, 2012

Still Fighting Inside My Head

I knew I was hungry and that I was running out of motivation to run when I headed out right around 7pm tonight. I was angry and frustrated when I left. Anger is my way of showing weakness and vulnerability. I don't like feeling inferior or weak and I have spent my life dealing with it by getting angry. I felt good by the time I was done running, but I still couldn't shake it on my own before I left. It's not just running where this creeps up, but it's not helping with my running either. I wonder how much better I would do if I were able to talk myself out of being mad instead of waiting for the endorphins and the emotions of the run to kick in and scoop me up.

Do any of you get mad at yourself? Can you reason with yourself and relax?

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